YEH HAIN KARAD MERI
JAAN!
Mithun Deshpande
Government College Of Engineering, Karad
Email : mithund@rediffmail.com
I wonder why Karad has not yet been featured on 'Lonely Planet'.
"Beg your pardon? Karad? Lonely Planet?"
Yes. You heard me right. Think about it. New York city has Times Square. Karad has Chawdi Chowk. Paris has Sainé. Big deal! Karad has Krishna. And Koyana. Massachusetts has MIT. So? Karad has GCOE! So now, you be the judge. Karad is HOT. Isn't it?And if you thought Karad has more than it's share of glitz and glam and all, wait. There's more. Karad has MUBTV. What? You haven't heard of it? The MEAN, BIG, UNNECESSARY TOW VEHICLE in town, abbreviated MBUTV is the latest happening thing in Karad.
If I were in Mumbai or Pune or Las Vegas or Chicago, I'd appreciate the presence of a tow vehicle. But Karad? Give me a break! The MBUTV covers only a meager stretch of road, from Saraswati Hotel ( I think) to Kanyashala ( I am sure!). In the first place, this stretch of road is by itself so narrow, we have trouble parking and thanks to this MBUTV, if anything, we have more traffic jams. Because it's so huge, we'd rather not have it roaming around. What an irony! Whoever thought that this would ease the traffic congestion, with due respect Sir, please think again.
When MBUTV first came to town, it was no less than a pompous procession. Complete with a couple of 'Mamas' (?). Four over enthusiastic chelas. One bedazzled bakra and well, the ubiquitous Public. Indian Public. Hindi films have more than once portrayed unique traits of the Indian Public if you know what I mean and if you have seen plenty Hindi films. And that of Karad is no exception. Pity.
The modus-operandi of the MBUTV is interesting. You have this huge, ugly, red thing. They call it as 'Recovery Van'. And God knows that the only thing they ever recover is money. Money. And more money. Hey, didn't we read somewhere… " It's all about money, honey!" Then there's the inseparable and essential part of the entourage…MAMA! (Formally known as traffic police. Frankly, I don't like calling them by that name. But on thinking, no other name sounds suitable. Because remember, as kids, we were told… " Danga karu nakoos! Mama yetil ani pakadtil!!")
The rule is simple. Park to the right on even dates. And to the left on odd dates. I am still confused about that rule. So I simply park on the side where majority of the vehicles are parked. PLAY SAFE!
One fine day, some poor, gullible soul parks on the wrong side. God save him. (50 bucks can save him too…!) Enter Mama. And his chelas. Mama asks his chelas to load the vehicle on the MBUTV. Before you know it, your 1988 Bajaj Priya or 2001 Splendor are 5 feet above the road, hanging in mid air, about to be kept on the MBUTV. (If you observe closely, while all this is being done, Mama has a smug, even a bit of cruel smile on his face. It made me wonder. For once, are Sarkari Babus really enjoying their jobs??)
Then you start pleading with all finesse and courage you can muster (In plain words, it means 'maska'). " Oh Mama! Please Mama! This was my first time! Mujhe pata nahi tha. Just one time!!"Mama says cloldly "Come to RTO tomorrow. Be in court at 10:00". But we are Indians. And we sure know how to make a Babu happy. So you say again, " Please Sir. See if something (stressing on that word) can be done". Mama looks at Chela. Chela gives a helpless look. Both look at you. Mama says, "50 Rupees. Pay 50 Rupees."
I tell you, people are more than happy to hear that. And they open their wallets eagerly. Mama gives you a receipt for 50 Rupees. (That's the beauty of it all! You get scot-free officially! No under-the-table deals!)Mama smiles at you. You go home minus the 50 Rupees note. You justify to yourself, "Who the hell has the time or the will to go to court for a parking ticket???"To my utter disbelief, I came across people who were willing to do that too.
While all this is happening, amused by-standers keep glancing at you as if you are part of some street show. People laugh at you. Give you odd looks. If someone wants to know what's happening, they are too glad to tell you with gestures how you parked on the wrong side and how they once escaped the fine and how these errant parkers deserve the fine…I had a chance encounter with Mama and his MBUTV once. Just once.
Having lived in Karad for a decade and a half, I, like other Karadians have become so used to the 'Delight in Disorder' kinda environment that something as disciplinary as MBUTV seems to be a clear misfit. True, that sometimes the roads seem to be more spacious, but even then I still think it's totally unnecessary. Not many sane souls will agree to that. Today the MBUTV phenomenon has become quite commonplace. It's business as usual with or without it. It circles round and round the town. Someone gets caught off guard. Becomes poorer by 50 bucks. Mama gets JOB SATISFACTION.
I'd rather have a Karad without a MBUTV. But to you, who have not yet had a tete-a-tete with Mama and his MBUTV, a sincere word of advice…always look before you park. And also, always, always keep a spare 50 bucks in your wallet. Who knows? Incase! Actually, you never know.
At the end of the day, I find myself singing…
"Aye dil, hain mushkil,
park karna yaha,
Jara hatke, jara bachke,
Yeh hain Karad meri Jaan!"
Mithun Deshpande,
Government College Of Engineering, Karad
mithund@rediffmail.com
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